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Evelyn Lozada Files for Divorce After Domestic Violence Dispute: Could You Forgive Someone After Things Got Physical?

The Big Question 2012/08/15 00:00:00
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  • Texas Gal 2012/08/19 13:33:37
    No
    Texas Gal
    My answer is sort of split. Could I forgive them? - Yes, I could forgive them if they proved that they changed. Would I stay with them? - No! -- That goes to my "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" philosophy.
  • schjaz 2012/08/17 19:24:47
    No
    schjaz
    I have in the past but never, ever again. Now isn't this the guy that threw all his outspoken support behind Oblahblah? Hmmmmm.
  • Andrew 2012/08/17 05:46:38
    Yes
    Andrew
    +1
    I believe in forgiveness, it's an important thing we must do to others, after all every human needs to be forgiven.
  • schjaz Andrew 2012/08/17 19:26:01
    schjaz
    You have to have a safe environment before you are able to think straight and reopen your heart to forgiveness.
  • Andrew schjaz 2012/09/25 23:52:41
    Andrew
    Like what? Give me an example so I understand a little better.
  • schjaz Andrew 2012/09/26 15:06:44
    schjaz
    Not sure I understand what you are asking. You have to be safe first. When a person is living in survival mode all the time, its hard to make rational decisions. The person is living in a reactive environment. One must feel safe and stable and in control of their own life. If the abuse and/or control is still in play, it is near impossible for the person being abused to be able to forgive.
  • Andrew schjaz 2012/10/18 23:52:50
    Andrew
    Oh okay I get it, so just make sure the person you have to forgive is in a safe mood.
  • schjaz Andrew 2012/10/19 17:02:17
    schjaz
    no....the person that is doing the forgiving has to be living in a safe environment.
  • Frank 2012/08/16 21:33:49
    No
    Frank
    If it happens once it will happen again, simple as that......
  • Oaces_boss_yo® 2012/08/16 21:02:44
  • schjaz Oaces_b... 2012/08/17 19:26:57
    schjaz
    +1
    They, in their hearts, do not care about you if they are able to do that in the first place.
  • Oaces_b... schjaz 2012/08/17 19:40:40
  • schjaz Oaces_b... 2012/08/17 20:26:58
    schjaz
    A lot of older women are in an even tougher bind. when you are young, its easier to start over. You have the capacity to make money, get reeducated or just get hired. You have more energy. A lot of older women have just been beaten down as well.
  • Oaces_b... schjaz 2012/08/17 22:13:32
  • schjaz Oaces_b... 2012/08/18 04:29:05
    schjaz
    +1
    Right...I am not making excuses for them but after years of being mistreated, it becomes comfortable because its all you know. They need counselling.
  • Oaces_b... schjaz 2012/08/18 22:32:05
  • schjaz Oaces_b... 2012/08/19 16:18:03
    schjaz
    +1
    you hit the nail on the head...something wrong with that woman. that is how she is getting attention.
  • Oaces_b... schjaz 2012/08/19 16:35:20
  • schjaz Oaces_b... 2012/08/19 18:37:00
    schjaz
    +1
    That's the way it goes, the screwed up ones always seem to mess it up for the others.
    You are right and they will stay on their unenlightened treadmill going nowhere and whining the whole time. I am soooooo glad I am not that woman.
  • Oaces_b... schjaz 2012/08/19 18:51:29
  • schjaz Oaces_b... 2012/08/19 19:32:46
    schjaz
    +1
    The world is going crazy as far as I am concerned..dignity and common sense are things of the past. Stand tuff!
    And stay beautiful. goddess
  • Oaces_b... schjaz 2012/08/19 20:52:02
  • txtumlinCelebratesCyberFriends 2012/08/16 06:59:04
    No
    txtumlinCelebratesCyberFriends
    +1
    My trust would be shattered along with any future possibility of true reconciliation.
  • Tin Man 2012/08/16 02:30:05
    Yes
    Tin Man
    +2
    Forgive but not forget. Because forgiving benefits the person forgiving as much if not more than the one forgiven. And is necessary for peace of mind. And not for the purpose of reconciliation. For me physical violence has no place in a loving relationship. 0.0, zero, zero. With rare if any exception it only gets worse once started.___ I speak with the voice of experience on this. I was once married to a "man dragon," named Rose. World class lover and good looking but a psycho. Who hid it well for the first 2 months. She attacked me 10 times that I recalled before we broke up after the last time. It started with a slap in the face. Later it progressed to being clawed, punched, kicked at, spit at, etc... For my part: After the fourth attack, a viscous one, I slapped her, got a hand full of her hair and pointed a finger in her face, telling her to never hit me again. Then I pushed her down to seat her on the couch and left for 3 days. I was utterly in shock of what could possibly be wrong with the bride I married. Who by the way shredded a long sleeved blue shirt from my back as I exited the door. (I still have it, as a reminder, from years past.) After the 10th attack, another bad one, I snapped and nearly slammed her head into the car dash, where we'd been sitting. Fortunately...
    Forgive but not forget. Because forgiving benefits the person forgiving as much if not more than the one forgiven. And is necessary for peace of mind. And not for the purpose of reconciliation. For me physical violence has no place in a loving relationship. 0.0, zero, zero. With rare if any exception it only gets worse once started.___ I speak with the voice of experience on this. I was once married to a "man dragon," named Rose. World class lover and good looking but a psycho. Who hid it well for the first 2 months. She attacked me 10 times that I recalled before we broke up after the last time. It started with a slap in the face. Later it progressed to being clawed, punched, kicked at, spit at, etc... For my part: After the fourth attack, a viscous one, I slapped her, got a hand full of her hair and pointed a finger in her face, telling her to never hit me again. Then I pushed her down to seat her on the couch and left for 3 days. I was utterly in shock of what could possibly be wrong with the bride I married. Who by the way shredded a long sleeved blue shirt from my back as I exited the door. (I still have it, as a reminder, from years past.) After the 10th attack, another bad one, I snapped and nearly slammed her head into the car dash, where we'd been sitting. Fortunately I didn't. I left and we later divorced. That occasion had been the one year anniversary of the day I'd proposed. ___ No one in the name of love should ever endure or meter out such violence. There is a vast difference between love and a loving relationship. I by no means consider myself perfect. But under the circumstances I think I did well enough in containing my own responses. And ultimately realized no matter how much I wished it to stop, it never would have. And by my being gone and out of the marriage was for the best. Had we continued to be together eventually I'd have snapped badly, totally unacceptable. And for further proof, as if I really needed any, I've found out details from a step son who stops to see me once in awhile. She use to keep a parry knife under her pillow for me. A later boyfriend moved all the way to Alaska to get away from her, claiming she was too crazy for him. And he had formerly committed murder. He committed suicide sometime thereafter, unrequited love??? And afraid she'd come there? And now she's married to a man who thinks he deserves it!!! I would caution anyone with this snap shot of what happened to me and warning: " Leave, run if you must, get away and stay gone for good. It will not get better. Forgive if you can for your own good. Or don't forgive. But by no means stay in any such relationship. That is not love. Or a loving relationship. EVER."
    (more)
  • Howling Hank 2012/08/15 20:10:38
    No
    Howling Hank
    Pretty hard to do that...but then again, these publicity stunt whores love the drama, makes for better ratings on their TV shows....
  • HOMBRE 2012/08/15 18:56:57
  • OdiIfeomaFrancisca Clare 2012/08/15 17:44:57
    No
    OdiIfeomaFrancisca Clare
    If someone got physical with me, although I am a very nice person, I probably wouldn't forgive them.
  • American Girl 2012/08/15 17:29:14
    No
    American Girl
    +3
    Physical violence shows no respect for one another. If a relationship is to survive, you have to have respect for each other.
  • Tennessee3501 2012/08/15 17:17:48
    No
    Tennessee3501
    +3
    Physical violence is the clearest sign that a relationship should be terminated immediately! A woman must leave the moment it happens. No hesitating. No looking back! It is a sign of a serious pathology. End it while you are still alive to do so!
  • Old Salt 2012/08/15 17:14:55
  • SoCalEx-Dem 2012/08/15 16:33:06
    No
    SoCalEx-Dem
    +3
    If I'm in a relationship and my partner gets angry and head butts me hard enough to crack my skull, I'm moving on out of his way permanently.
  • STEVE 2012/08/15 15:33:05
    Yes
    STEVE
    +2
    sure, if the MAKE UP SEX WAS GOOD ENOUGH...P.S. Didn't she know he is a terminal JERK?
  • ruthannhausman 2012/08/15 14:48:37
    No
    ruthannhausman
    +1
    Nope. At least not to the point of restoring the status quo in the relationship. Once a man hits a woman there is going to be nothing but stress and mistrust all the way down the line. Not healthy for either partner. Cut and run while the gettin's good.
  • Bob DiN 2012/08/15 14:38:45
    Yes
    Bob DiN
    Maybe dependingon what happened.
  • No One 2012/08/15 14:18:44
    No
    No One
    +2
    No I could not forgive someone if things got physical as that would mean the person would be very dangerous and I would not know what was next.
  • Fashionable60s 2012/08/15 13:31:25
    No
    Fashionable60s
    +4
    Never. There's never an acceptable excuse for a man to hit a woman no matter how severe the verbal altercation was.
  • No One Fashion... 2012/08/15 14:21:36 (edited)
    No One
    Yes that is true just as how there is no excuse for a woman to hit a man unless in self defense.
  • GoodEncounter 2012/08/15 13:25:28
    Yes
    GoodEncounter
    +2
    Yes BUT I'd make it crystal clear to HIM and to myself that if he does it again I'd be out of there.
  • Callaway 2012/08/15 12:19:54
    Yes
    Callaway
    +3
    But then again are we totally sure that this was a domestic violence issue? Both parties seem to love living their respective lives on public display on this endless "reality show" crap. I will wait until all the facts are in and not let the media convict before the trial.
  • Melizmatic Callaway 2012/08/15 17:37:24 (edited)
    Melizmatic
    +1
    >>>"But then again are we totally sure that this was a domestic violence issue?"<<<

    Um... he's accused of headbutting a pregnant woman.

    http://edition.cnn.com/2012/0...

    There's an official police report, and crime photos.

    domestic violence issueltltlt headbutted pregnant woman official police report photos

    What kind of other "proof" are you looking for, exactly?

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