Evelyn Lozada Files for Divorce After Domestic Violence Dispute: Could You Forgive Someone After Things Got Physical?

Forgive but not forget. Because forgiving benefits the person forgiving as much if not more than the one forgiven. And is necessary for peace of mind. And not for the purpose of reconciliation. For me physical violence has no place in a loving relationship. 0.0, zero, zero. With rare if any exception it only gets worse once started.___ I speak with the voice of experience on this. I was once married to a "man dragon," named Rose. World class lover and good looking but a psycho. Who hid it well for the first 2 months. She attacked me 10 times that I recalled before we broke up after the last time. It started with a slap in the face. Later it progressed to being clawed, punched, kicked at, spit at, etc... For my part: After the fourth attack, a viscous one, I slapped her, got a hand full of her hair and pointed a finger in her face, telling her to never hit me again. Then I pushed her down to seat her on the couch and left for 3 days. I was utterly in shock of what could possibly be wrong with the bride I married. Who by the way shredded a long sleeved blue shirt from my back as I exited the door. (I still have it, as a reminder, from years past.) After the 10th attack, another bad one, I snapped and nearly slammed her head into the car dash, where we'd been sitting. Fortunately I didn't. I left and we later divorced. That occasion had been the one year anniversary of the day I'd proposed. ___ No one in the name of love should ever endure or meter out such violence. There is a vast difference between love and a loving relationship. I by no means consider myself perfect. But under the circumstances I think I did well enough in containing my own responses. And ultimately realized no matter how much I wished it to stop, it never would have. And by my being gone and out of the marriage was for the best. Had we continued to be together eventually I'd have snapped badly, totally unacceptable. And for further proof, as if I really needed any, I've found out details from a step son who stops to see me once in awhile. She use to keep a parry knife under her pillow for me. A later boyfriend moved all the way to Alaska to get away from her, claiming she was too crazy for him. And he had formerly committed murder. He committed suicide sometime thereafter, unrequited love??? And afraid she'd come there? And now she's married to a man who thinks he deserves it!!! I would caution anyone with this snap shot of what happened to me and warning: " Leave, run if you must, get away and stay gone for good. It will not get better. Forgive if you can for your own good. Or don't forgive. But by no means stay in any such relationship. That is not love. Or a loving relationship. EVER."