SodaHead - Hobo's Blog

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-23T12:45:17Z

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"The secrets found in the steel door help keep the cons, pranksters and compulsive gentleman thieves out of counterfeit, theft and espionage for as long as they find themselves stalking more pranksters in LAX, San Diego, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Tucson,
Roswell, Salt Lake City and elsewhere on the West Coast, only when Detective Merriman tries to foil the Con Squad's hoodlums, conmen and swindlers involved in high-jink pranks
about to be played on them," said Yaffee.

"I convince Detective Merriman, Senator Brainard and Sgt. Throckmorton to interrogate the evidence in 2010 before the Con Squad is too late...," Dean said.

"...or too early to remind Merriman, Throckmorton and Brainard what to do with the conmen and pranksters," Yaffee recalled.

"The rose steel door is the highly anticipated prank I've ever played on Detective Merriman's suspects," Dean replied.

"Why is Detective Merriman invading some breathing room in San Diego?" asked Yaffee.

Dean answered, "Lighten up, Yaff! You are invading space here in San Diego. As a result, my fellow XETV News crew will report the evidence right right away so that Detective Merriman tracks down the evidence and bring the con artists and the suspects who play pranks on other men and women across the State of California to justice."

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-23T01:48:42Z

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Dean McGuffin, an XETV cameraman who covered Detective Merriman's shopping center shootings during New Year's day, asked Yaffee, "Did Frank Merriman, P.I. chase the crooks, swindlers, pranksters and other troublemakers and pet peeves in various retail premises on December 31, 2009?"

Yaffee answered, "Yes. Detective Merriman and his assistants Sgt. Drake Throckmoton and former Senate Majority Leader-turned-L.A.P.D. shadow Brainard were gunning down more than 500 suspects on New Year's Eve and New Year's day, respectively, on their week-long trip to San Diego Cee-AY. Don't you understand the evidence?"

"For Detective Merriman's sake," said Drew, "Sgt. Drake is following him on the trail of pranksters, con artists and swindlers who double-cross enemy lines - depending on whoever falls victim to the F.B.I. at perpetual intervals... for Detective Merriman, however, fighting con smuggling and bullying are amont the issues every law enforcer must encounter once or twice..."

"...one prankster at a time," said Dean.

Enough, you dirty rotten caught-on-videotape guy you," Yaffee responded.

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-22T17:42:14Z

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"I have a report on the Con Squad troublemakers hunting for the next suspect to be killed in action, Stephenson," Lt. Plunkett, formerly of the Pittsburgh Police Department, said.

"That's a lot of justice around town," said Deputy Stephenson. "I, Deputy Hamish Stephenson, am ready to crack the case when Sgt. Throckmorton, Detective Merriman and Senator Brainard unveil the rose steel door of secrets as a prank when the trio guns the crooks down - whacking the conmen could be crucial to Detective Merriman when it comes to unraveling the investigation."

"That's stupid," Lt. Plunkett responded. "Absolutely stupid, Stephenson."

"Are you pulling pranks on the con artists?" asked Deputy Stephenson.

"Show Detective Merriman what every law enforcer across the country know when choosing a con artist to pull some life-threatening pranks withing month. You and all the other L.A.P.D. troubleshooters will get the con experts and swindlers arrested when Detective Merriman shoots bullets at them," answered Lt. Plunkett.

Meanwhile, Detective Merriman on January 4, 2010 walked to the Fillmore Mall Shopping Center in San Diego on his week-long vacation agenda. Together with a band of San Diego Police Department rookie officers during a 40-minute standoff, Detective Merriman shouted

"Everyone in the shopping mal... hold your head!" and fired blanks at the customers who
visited this prestige enclosed shopping center with his .45 caliber trigger-happy revolver hand gun, having killed 70 shoppers and murdered eight store managers from throughout the facility.

He and the S.D.P.D. rookie lawmen broke windows, smack shoppers' faces, slammed the enemies and their clients in the face, shoulder, and upper and lower back; and threw a variety of items at them in all retail stores, while the lawmen shot a half dozen men, women and children in their heads, chests, arms and chests by using pistols, stun guns, rifle and other firearms in the mall.

"Get these crooks under arrest in 35 minutes before somebody else guns down each other," shouted Detective Merriman.

An investigative reporter for XETV-TV in San Diego showed the management of the local mainstream media outlet why the Fillmore Mall suspects had been chased by Detective Merriman as a result of the standoff.

"Detective Frank Merriman is going after the San Diego Police Department rookies in an all-out shopping mall shootout as he guns down the remaining suspects at Fillmore Mall,"

said Garrett Yaffee, evening news anchor for XETV.

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-22T03:08:56Z

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"All of you L.A.P.D. interrogators," he said, 'let's take a look at these photos involving the convicts in these cases. As all of you working to protect and serve the Greater Metropolitan Los Angeles Area, the members of a team of con artists, swindlers and gentleman thieves known as the Con Squad are finding men, women and children throughout LAX who have bamboozled into pickpocketing, murder and interceptive robbery,
theft and counterfeit - however, these conmen and bunco squad teammates are going after the good guys who have sought fraud, suspicious murder, kidnapping and spying among the persons and their other neighbors during the last 10 months. Detective Frank 'Trigger Happy' Merriman is conducting a series of investigations concerning the Con Squad's ongoing assignments over the next 12 to 24 or 38-plus months prior to courtroom deliberation."

"More deliberation is about to become available within 365 business day," reminded Mac Bloomberg, the L.A.P.D.'s highly ranked rookie enforment officer.

"You cotton-picking, beer-drinking deputy you... Just because Merriman, Brainard and Sgt. Throckmorton are fighting back at the Con Squad conmen and troublemakers in his quest to

search for men, women, children, teenagers and senior citizens of all ages who create criminal havoc through the decades. Whoever steals the steel door of controveries - which is painted using a top-secret pinkish, dark red enamel created by Prof. Throckmorton X.
Quartermain, director of chemistry at the University of California Los Angeles and a mad scientist with more than 17 years of designing, engineering, formulating, inventing and
discovering..."

"You can not, repeat, can not make this stuff up," warned the deputy.

"What shall I tell Merriman about this crap?" asked L.A.P.D. Rookie Enforcement Officer Bloomberg.

"To tell the truth, Detective and Mrs. Merriman are about to track down six of the most distractive and highly inconceivable conmen who make up the Con Squad.

"Be on the lookout for these conmen, swindlers and pranksters as they find the wrong guys and gals who've been wrecking lethal havoc in Los Angeles and its suburbs - they're driving their motor vehicles to various locations during the next 38 months," the L.A.P.D. deputy said to Rookie Enforcement Officer Bloomberg.

"Merriman," Rookie Enforcement Officer Bloomberg replied, "is embarking on the case of a lifetime - and he will be prepared for what will be the most dangerous assignment in a private eye's lengthy career."

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-21T16:15:41Z

Hobo

+1 raves

As he went in the bathroom, Detective Merriman took a relaxing, hot shower and lathered his body with Prof. Gillard's Golden Whip Body Wash, which featured a cowboy's whip on
the bottle. This highly imperfect liquid washing potion not only gave Detective Merriman a silky smooth, debonair body, but moisterized his skin from head to toe, leaving him with
superstrength.

"Aaaah... thata boy!" Detective Merriman laughed.

"Uh, oh!"

It could'd be one of the conmen stealing. Prof. Gillard's Golden Whip Body Wash?

"Dave, I'm coming to kill you within the next 18 months," Detective Merriman said.

"Wait a minute," said Dave.

"I'm in the midst of my showering routine, so get out of my mansion before you enter the driveway!" Detective Merriman warned.

Dave said, "Me and the six con artists are about to go after the L.A.P.D. in 18 months' time."

"Get out of my mansion now!" shouted Detective Merriman.

"Come back with my body wash!"

Meanwhile, L.A.P.D. Deputy Stepehenson showed the rookies six photos of the con artists Detective Merriman mentioned earlier in 2009.

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2009-11-21T00:18:33Z

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+1 raves

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The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-20T12:50:51Z

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A couple of hours later, Detective Merriman drove to the Merriman Mansion in Burbank and
searched for clues to the conmen and counterfeit bamboozlers being investigated. His mansion had a futuristic kitchen complete with GE Cafe appliances, a Whirlpool trash compactor and small kitchen electricals from Salton and Braun; a high-definition color television receiver manufactured by Sony along with the Japanese electronics company's
Blu-ray Disc player, Playstation3 console and home audio components; home furnishing provided by Ethan Allen throughout the residence; a front-loading washer and dryer made by Maytag; and other luxuries that made this mansion a beautiful steel-wood-and-glass home.

Of course, his bedroom had a .44 caliber magnum revolver pistol nicknamed "Trigger Happy."

"I could've imagined a riveting case in the 'Conman Chronicles' as Sgt. Drake assists me with some suspects the F.B.I. cannot solve," said Detective Merriman.

"My priority for the L.A.P.D. is to investigate several conmen who conduct duties of their own as part of my assignments over the next several months as part of the Merriman Throckmorton Agency's ongoing mission to combat hilarious crimes the FBI does not want me to solve."

Detective Merriman found a half-dozen mugshots in The New York Times, the Chicago Tribune and the Miami Herald depicting the fugitives and conmen who went after the L.A.P.D., the San Francisco Police Department, the San Diego Police Department, the California Highway Patrol and the Sacramento Police Department.

"Those stupid pet peevers! Very outrageous!" Detective Merriman was impressed.

"How would these dumb pet peeve-making troublemakers commit a variety of lethal activities in Southern Calfornia?"

Detective Merriman grabbed a remote control and watched KABC-TV's coverage of the "Conman Chronicles" case as the 5 PM evening news anchorman reported the names of
the following conmen:

Ace Carrington, Jr., age 53

Dean "Pet Peeve Man" Caldwell, age 32

Mark Broderick, age 37

Drake Markham, age 22

Max Xavier, age 45

Eric Markham, age 30

These conmen are carrying their Smith & Wesson .44 caliber revolver hand guns and chase the tourists visiting L.A. by hard ways as they seeked justice in a court of law.

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-19T15:20:42Z

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"Duh!" sighed Detective Merriman.

One of the patients at Prof. Ned Brainard Medical was killed prior to performing surgery on her lungs.

"Didn't see her coming."

As expected, Sgt. Drake Throckmorton was still recovering from a painful, pistol-shaped kidney stone comprised of several minerals and other substances found in urine. However,
the Prof. Ned Brainard medical surgeon went to the laboratory and told Dr. Neeley why Sgt. Drake suffered from a excruciating kidney stone and found out that the patient had to
drink fewer fluids as necessary.

"Detective Merriman is about to search for brutal conmen who are leaving the rose steel door open to him and his assistants Sgt. Drake and Senator Brainard," said Dr. Neeley.

"Someone is finding one criminal troublemaker after another - and the F.B.I. needs to gun down the convicts before time runs out!"

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-18T13:26:03Z

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"Now, listen up, Max," Detective Merriman warned. "I will go after the conmen and their conterfeiters by firing blanks at them and apprehend the federal criminal justice system of the U.S. government. Sgt. Drake is on duty to assist me and the great Mr. Brainard on a jurisdiction of equals when the L.A.P.D. conducts the investigation thoroughly as possible."

"You're not the only private eye unraveling the case of the rose steel door!" Max replied.

"For your info," said Detective Merriman, 'it's not how me and Sgt. Drake uncover the situation... it's how to crack the case of the men who enter a door complete with top-secret controversies involving the L.A.P.D. and their teams of rookies, detectives and forensics experts for the time being.

"To this intent, I am leaving the door of secrets open to the Federal Bureau of Investigation in one of the most deliberate cases ever."

Max said, "Believe me, bringing the cons and conuterfeiters to justice is about how you and your partners carry on this very intense case - just because Sgt. Drake has trouble
getting his kidney stone out of the urinary tract."

"I kid you!" said Detective Merriman.

A day later, KABC-TV anchorman Mitchell Bradford told viewers in the Los Angeles area Sgt. Drake Throckmorton had a painful kidney stone stuck in his urinary tract. The kidney
stone, which was shaped in the form of a pistol, needed to be removed by surgeons from the Prof. Ned Brainard Medical Center in Beverly Hills. The stone comprised of minerals and urinary waste and was in the process of being taken out in a comtemplated procedure
the following day.

However, one day later, Detective Merriman stopped by the Prof. Ned Brainard Medical Center in nearby Beverly Hills and watched Sgt. Drake take the kidney stone out of the left kidney.

Four minutes there after, he called Nurse Roethlisberger on his cellular telecommunications device and asked, "How can the F.B.I. solve the lethal ridicule?"

"Would you keep your damn f**kin' mouth shut?" asked Nurse Roethlisberger. "In any circumstance the Federal Bureau of Investigation will cross-examine the con conspiracy

concerning those awesome, handsome young troublemakers and gentlement con artists,
you have the right to be silent in cracking the case of the rose steel door by hard ways."

"Wait a minute," said Detective Merriman.

"What?" Nurse Roethlisberger asked.

"Max, one of the Disney-ABC Domestic TV executives about to be shot down within the next five or six weeks, will be accused of shooting at least 11 conmen when he takes his case to the municipal courtroom. Right now, I'm in the midst of watching the surgeons take the stone out of Sgt. Drake's left kidney - my sidekick has a painful time ridding him of an afflicted, hard stone found in his urinary tract."

The Rose Steel Door

2009-11-17T18:31:27Z

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+1 raves

Max showed a trio of case solvers, led by Detective Merriman, the sets of two of the 20 series ABC Studios had produced for broadcast and cable television networks.

"Now," Max explained, "Detective Frank Merriman, I want you and your sidekicks to stare at the stage where one of the programs are videotaped in front of a live studio audience. Notice the crossfire-shaped podiums where three contestants test their knowledge of crime
in a fast-paced, challenging mystery quiz where real actors play their fictitious suspects and their adversaries. The setting is Precinct 9000, where this game show takes place as
the challengers answer multiple-choice questions focused on clues to a dangerous, amusing or hilarious investigation."

"When will this game show begin taping every Monday through Friday?" asked Detective
Merriman.

Max answered, "If you shoot me or the professional con artists and conmen entering the rose steel door of secret law-enforcement chronicles, you will be sentenced to two years in a maxinum security detention center 27 years from now."

"Wait a minute," Sgt. Drake warned. "Dave Hatfield, one of the 80-plus con artists commiting compulsive justice in Southern California, is infiltrating drug addicts who allegedly purchased 500,000 tons of cocaine from a local maifa commando, having sniffed around this deadly substance..."

"I dare you not to shoot me!" shouted Max.

Detective Merriman said, "This is a stick-up, Max! I warn you and everyone at The Walt Disney Studios to back out of the soundstage before I come to chase you within the next
10 or 25 weeks... prepare for the interrogation!"

"I don't understand the power of deliberate justice... you have the frankness and the agility
to fight satirical crime and justice throughout California," said Max.

"Keep holding your hands up in the air," Detective Merriman told Max as he stuck a .45 caliber trigger-happy revolver hand gun in his nose.

"My friends at Merriman Throckmorton Investigation Agency in Los Angeles are devoted to
crack the case and bring the deliberators to justice at a moment's notice like mad. How an
investigation will look like any other assignment I've done in recent memory is up to me and two of my partners in law enforcement as I attempt to hunt for the conmen who are getting their activities caught in the relentless crosshairs and at the same hardship..."

"Detective Merriman," Sgt. Drake joked, "your slip might not be showing if you've got the guts to kick Max in the b**t!"