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A band of space bandidos chased me on the freeway and hijacked my car. After chasing after them on a motorcycle I commandeered from a stranger, I was able to fight them off one at a time with the mighty sword, Excalibur, and the gun that killed Hitler. It turns out the guy that owned the motorcycle was the person that Steven Spielberg based Indiana Jones on. After I reclaimed my vehicle, an asteroid hit Earth, (don't worry, the fire dept. took care of it, you probably won't even hear about it) tearing my clothes to shreds. Which is why I don't have any pants on.
4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
Lol...this was funnyUndecided
Those are hillarious! One of my former employees used to call in all the time with some random excuse each time, one time she called in (in tears) and said she couldn't come in because her parents had decided to get a divorce and she needed to be at home with her Mom to comfort her...but right when i was about to tell her how sorry I was, her parents walked in looking for her..they'd brought her dinner for her lunch break. It was pretty funny actually..None of the above
I had a really important job interview....5. I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning.
I forgot to open my eyes this morning.. uhmm sorry..None of the above
"I was sleeping with your wife."5. I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning.
got written up for this one !Undecided
I was drunk and called your wife and said you were with another woman. I spent most of the morning convinceing her that I was just kidding.2. My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what "really" happened.
lol! There all pretty bad!! =]None of the above
Had diarrhea on the way to work and had to return home to change clothes. If they don't believe you, spend the next hour in the restroom.9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
haha... i would be like 'why... thanks for the information...':S one of my friends once came late to school because she had locked herself into the bathroom, since she thought she'd heard someone break into her house (ehm.. she had a dog then which usually would bark when anything bad would happen.. but apparently the dog just 'wasn't there' for that ..(?)) another time she was late because the dog had run away and she had to go chase after him....she always seemed to have the best reasons for coming late to class...haha..
1. Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
It's a toss up between this one and the prostitute one that's like utterly amazing.None of the above
I STOP TO DO A LITTLE SHOPPING, AND, TO PICK UP MY LUNCH.None of the above
The dog peed on my work clothes and I had to wash them over. Duhh!!! Find something else to wear. Is that the only outfit that you own. That's what I told them. Or don't come back.5. I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning.
But the truth.4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
They're all pretty goofy responses, but this one seemed funniest to me.7. A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.
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yes
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None of the above
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9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
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None of the above
i hit a car with 4 women in it. they said they would not call the cop's if i pleased them. after i was done i was just to tired to come in.Undecided
I don't think I would use any of these! They're all really funny!10. A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around... so I got out of the car.
My favorite is the one about the girlfriend destroying the undergarments! How does that affect someone getting to work?!Undecided
ah my dog ate my tire?None of the above
I didnt feel like coming in that earlyNone of the above
Thats some funny stuff! Wonder if anybody has ever used it before?Undecided
Here in Northern VA: The most abused and they get away with it is "traffic was terrible and there was a accident".None of the above
my dog ate my briefcase lolUndecided
I choose all of the above, Funny StuffUndecided
my digital alarm didn't go off because there was a power shortage in the middle of the night. when i woke up, the time was flashing 12:00... yea...None of the above
I work at home, and when my husband asks me if I worked today. I just tell him know. I took a sick day or vacation day.None of the above
i have pms..lol...and i thought someone was following me..:-))9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
moderated...None of the above
My penis got stuck in a gloryhole in the bathroom of a denver Denny's.None of the above
The truth....it always seems to work for me =)Undecided
I have one for you..I was working at a mental hospital and a hearse was going into the gate ahead of me so I didn't enter thinking someone on my ward had died and I would have to prepare the body..this would have been my first..I was 23 at the time..any way I decided to drive around the country block and then go in after I thought they were done..ended up lost in the country for over an hour! How stupid...this really happened.. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
Entirely possible! My best one to date was telling my boss I just didn't feel like putting up with his crap before a LOT of coffee(we picked at each other a lot) and it WORKED! He just laughed....None of the above
You mean I have to show up to work everyday?Undecided
A band of space bandidos chased me on the freeway and hijacked my car. After chasing after them on a motorcycle I commandeered from a stranger, I was able to fight them off one at a time with the mighty sword, Excalibur, and the gun that killed Hitler. It turns out the guy that owned the motorcycle was the person that Steven Spielberg based Indiana Jones on. After I reclaimed my vehicle, an asteroid hit Earth, (don't worry, the fire dept. took care of it, you probably won't even hear about it) tearing my clothes to shreds. Which is why I don't have any pants on.I don't recall seeing you w/o your pants on..LoL