SodaHead - Peter Griffin's Blog

Someone's about to get himself some 'coon-tang!

2009-10-26T20:36:06Z

+3 raves

You know it's a depressing day when raccoons are getting more action from the ladies than you are. Maybe if I let my facial hair grow out for a few weeks I can fool her into thinking I'm some kind of hairy animal halfway in the process of turning into a prince. Anyway at this point, you're probably still staring at the picture but telling yourself that it's wrong to find this hot. It's ok, it's just the girl.

Write the caption

2009-10-13T18:59:24Z

Peter Griffin

+5 raves

Example: Spring Break in Tiananmen Square.

The Hairiest Man in China

2009-10-13T17:29:03Z

Peter Griffin

+8 raves

Asians aren't really famed for being hairy people, unless you're Middle Eastern. However, Yu Zenhuan is from China and probably has almost everyone in the world beat in that department. Yu Zenhuan has hair covering 96% of his body, due to a rare condition. He had hair growing out of strange places -- his ears -- starting from the age of 2. I bet no kids ever teased him about being a late bloomer. Zenhuan is going to have the hair removed by laser treatment, which I'm sure will take a while.

Truly an inspiration to anyone with an eating disorder

2009-10-06T17:55:52Z

Peter Griffin

+8 raves

If he can do it, so can you!

Parenting for Dummies

2009-10-05T22:48:02Z

Peter Griffin

+6 raves

Here are some tips on how to take care of your brand new baby! Just hang in there until he grows old enough to go to school and your workload will be cut in half! These tips are even presented in easy "Do"s and "Don't"s format.

Be careful what you wish for...

2009-10-05T21:52:06Z

Peter Griffin

+6 raves

...it might make you look like a total asshole.

1 traffic stop, 3 arrests

2009-09-30T21:39:29Z

Peter Griffin

+8 raves

Police in Tennessee stopped 21-year-old Billy Ray Hale outside his home for riding with his year and a half old baby on a motorcycle with no helmet in sight. This was already a pretty solid arrest: reckless endangerment that also got charges for evading police and driving with a suspended license tacked on. But the goods didn't stop there. As officers wrote Hale up, they learned that Hale was harboring a fugitive from North Carolina at his home. So they went and arrested the fugitive also. But before they left, they spotted another man trying to break into a barn, and thus booked a third arrest! Who knows, they probably just did a week's worth of police work right there!

Top 10 Nasty Feminine Hygiene Products

2009-09-24T21:24:15Z

Peter Griffin

+5 raves

Every man is better off not knowing about feminine hygiene products. In our younger years, a lady's forbidden area was a complete mystery to us. I mean, imagine having something that seems like it should be internal, due to its wet and sensitive nature, be on the outside of your body. Indeed, this bizarre design of the female body has launched a slew of specialized products. Just look at this list of disgusting ways to keep that area clean and be thankful that you have some low-maintenance parts between your legs. Pubic Hair Dye Not a hygiene product, per se, but it's amazing that women actually take the time to match the carpet with the drapes, if you will. If you've ever felt the burning sensation of incorrectly bleaching your hair, you might see the need for specialized pubic hair dye. Marvel Whirling Spray Ok, first of all, don't call it a vaginal syringe. Second of all, having a tornado clean out my junk is like killing a fly with an AK-47. This is yet another reason to be glad we're not living during The Great Depression. Sea Sponge Tampon Is it possible to feel bad for what happens to an animal after it's already dead? Yes it is. Fresca Powder I'm not sure what powdering up the love shack is gonna do other than dry the damn thing up. Besides, I wouldn't want anything containing boric acid, carbolic acid, or any kind of acid near there. Butt Bleach Whatever this is, it can't be good. The Anti-Panti It's not as easy for girls to go commando as it is for guys. But that's the demographic that the anti-panti hopes to snag: girls who want to go commando, but also want to wear their pants more than once before washing. Just stick this bad boy on the inside of your pants and let the front line take all the heavy fire. Hello Kitty Douche For those that don't know, they make Hello Kitty EVERYTHING. Crocheted Tampons Prepare for that time of the month while sitting in your rocking chair by a crackling fire. Reusable Menstrual Pads Oh, did you know it also comes in Pokemon designs too? I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Hello Kitty one also. Women's Pee Funnels God gave women the ability to have multiple orgasms and men the ability to pee standing up. But then women had to go and try to upset this delicate balance of power by inventing pee funnels that would let them pee standing up. Their punishment? They have to carry around a urine-soaked funnel everywhere.

The Gayest Cartoon Characters Of All Time

2009-09-23T19:09:01Z

Peter Griffin

+7 raves

I don't understand all this homophobia in the world. After all, we've been exposed to some pretty gay cartoon characters in our childhood. From flamboyant villains to an officially-confirmed gay baby, these are things that have helped shaped our gaydar skills to what they are today. In no particular order, here are some of the gayest cartoon characters of all time. The Peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak - You bake pies and wear leggings. You would make a great wife. Vanity Smurf - And they say that Smurfette was the only female Smurf...pfft. Klaus Vorstein - Can you take this limp-wristed, be-scarfed, and impeccably manicured villain seriously? Snagglepuss Stewie - Seth MacFarlane confirmed fans' suspicions about Stewie. Donatello - Donatello just wasn't into partying like the rest of his brothers. There's always one in the family... Captain Planet - How NOT to dress if you're a superhero Smithers - Smithers wasn't just gay, he was gay for wrinkled old men. He must've had some serious boss-secretary fantasies, with him being the secretary, of course.

Pokémon reusable menstrual pad, the WTF item of the week

2009-09-22T18:55:34Z

Peter Griffin

+15 raves

I'm all about reducing waste, but a reusable menstrual pad is a little unsettling to me. But to make things worse, you can also have Pikachu electrocuting your lady bits. Yes, it's a Pokémon menstrual pad. It's just wrong... so, so wrong. Who could possibly buy this? But then again, Japanese people never cease to surprise me.