Help

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
I dealt with a fairly similar situation when I was younger, but I didn't even know what to do then. I think this is one of those things where.. You just have to cross the bridge when you come to it.

You're in my thoughts. <3

.....



♡ you!
xoxox

:) thanks I will look out for those white feathers

I am so sorry you have to go through this.
Scream if you need me, I am only a short plane flight away love.

i am so sorry to hear about this i have no idea wat to do becaz i have never been in this situation

aw. my wife and i have done marriage encounter which really helped us
http://www.wwme.org.uk/
there is also retrouvaille
http://www.retrouvaille.org.uk/
you don't have to be catholic or religious to go on it

I'm sorry I don't know what to do... I'll be around if you need someone to talk to, but you could always try suggesting counselling...

I'm sorry girl, I don't know what to tell you but to maybe ask your mum to speak to your stepdad about whats going on and try to work it out

Hello Do nothing ! This dose not mean that eather of them love you any less . It just means that they both have fallen out of love with each other. This can and dose happen with adults . If you do have to move away with your mom and your Brother dose stay with your father . it dose not mean the end of family. In many of these cases it means more family time than you can deal with . Usaly with both sides I do not know how old you are . But one thing i do know is its not as bad as it seams right now. My brother split up with his wife of 7 years his kids were upset and thought as you do that the family would be over and they would have to choose a life they did not want. It turned out that they see more of each other than they ever did when they were to gether and the thing about seperation is that it takes all the stress and termoil out of the family as to aguments and just hard feelings. Things can turn out good for you in a positive way You may end up with two of everything like to Bithdays and don't get me started on Holidays and the Gifts that are given to show you that your loved as much or even more than befor . Yes it is sad that things did not work out with your father . And mother But at the same time as your lifes dynamics change you will discover streankth and asuredness you do not know or could amagine you are capible of. But remember to remain nutral and do nothing . In this situation you are going to feel as if you should do something or try to keep them to gether. Do not put your sef thrue that because it causes self guilt if all the planes of Mice and men fail. Let both parties know you love them and support them and that should they need a shoulder you are there as allways . But remain nutrel and miture . Somethings that may happen may not be to your likeing and you may have to ajust But all in all I feel you will be more than ok so have faith in god and in your family things will be what they will be . Life is a roller coaster. Lots of ups and downs But roller coasters are a lot better than a strait line where nothing ever changes. This could be your opertunity to shine as an adult!

my mother an stepdad recently split....its not the easiest thing to deal with an i dnt kno wat to tell u ask ur parents wat the hell is goin on an sit down an talk to ur step dad let him no the deal an that he has to straighten up

Lee, I'm so sorry to hear things are going so rough for you. I know you don't want to hear this shit, but you must try to look on the bright side. As much as you love your mother, be glad it's not you in this situation.

It must be extremely difficult for your mom. Imagine living with your partner, and you've absolutely had enough and you don't want to do it anymore. So many people continue to live with bullshit and be unhappy. Your mom has made a decision to get on with her life so she can be happy. Good for her. That's a tough road to go down.

Do whatever you can to support your mother through all of this. If you do have to go live with your mom somewhere you don't want to, make the best of it and be as positive as you can be. Maybe it wont be as bad as you think. Just think of what it would be like to live with a partner that you can't wait to get away from. That would be worse.

Young people tend to think of their parents in a manner that's different than ourselves. But our parents are people too. They want to be happy and passionate, and when things get really stale or they get extremely unhappy on a daily basis, it IS possible for them to make a change and be happy again.

Support your mom. You can adapt to any change that comes your way. You will be stronger for it.

my parents divorced when I was 17. I actually live with my mom because I'm on disability. It's hard. take care of yourself.

awe..poor you see this is what I fear with my children if I leave my hubby ....the devastation that they would feel...Wow...this a real eye opener for me.

Hey sweetie - well, of course, you were shocked. :-( This has got to feel like your original dad leaving, somewhere deep inside or at least stir up that unstable feeling. :-/ It's completely normal to feel anxiety at such a thing... just don't let to sweep you away. Here is a stress-reduction exercise that has helped me, maybe it will help you if the panic is getting boring! ;-) it's easier to think clearly when the old stress hormones aren't steering the boat.

I am guessing your parents wanted to spare you guys the gory details. Your little brother obviously knows something's been up for awhile and is none too amused by his dad's treatment of his mom! I have no idea if your dad knows or not - some types of men can be very very obtuse. Hopefully he can clean up his act if he knows she's planning on leaving. Sometimes it takes that for an abusive or neglectful partner to see the light. And maybe they can work it out. Or some sort of alternate arrangement.

Is there somewhere they can go for counselling? I have no idea what the root of their relationship difficulties are (usually things fall apart because of problems with communication, money, sex and a misalignment of values), and a counsellor can really help. We've got something in Canada called family service centres, some of them are set up by some churches but there is also a community one and sometimes some colleges with theology programs will have pastoral counselling which runs family counselling sessions and these tend to be free or on a sliding scale. Is there somewhere you could dig up some info about something similar so your parents have some help with their relationship woes.

i am so sorry to hear this Lee... i am sure that your mum and step-dad will talk to you and your brother about the situation... when your mum talks to him about how and what she is feeling... divorce is never easy no matter how old you are... my parents divorced when i was 24 and it still sucked.. but.. they were both happier people afterwards.. they will do what they need to do ..and i am sure the decisions will be best for everyone..... ill be thinking about ya... take care!

sorry sweetie =(

they've been together a long time haven't they?

it's so sad that your family situation might be changing, that is always hard but it sounds like your mum hasn't been happy for a while and if that's the case it won't do her any good to stay with him.

i hope you can all sort something out, i'm here if you need to talk

*hugs*

19 years.

thanks I just need to let it out im going nuts with this in my head

i don't blame you, you must be in shock!!! that's pretty much the same as your parents splitting up when he's been around since you were 2!!

=(

we're here for you to vent to!

Lee, just try to stay calm, and "one day at a time" helps...take it from me, a certified anxiety freak! I have to constantly tell myself to deal with just today, and not try to assume what is going to happen tomorrow. I am sure your parents will include you in whatever suggestions they may have for you and your bro if it does happen. Love ya!!!

thanks bonbon,I just dont know what to say to my mum.I can keep calm but it's my mum I dont even know if she is thinking straight at the mintue,Im worried about her.