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The Fallen

2008-02-01T02:31:12Z

TeaDea

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Nuke the Moon

2007-11-25T13:17:59Z

TeaDea

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Nuke the Moon
by Frank J. (originally written August 15th, 2002)

"Gotta nuke something."-20^thcentury philosopher Nelson Muntz

World peace cannot be achieved by sitting around on our duffs singing hippy songs to the moon. Peace can only be achieved through excessive acts of seemingly mindless violence.

Who do bullies pick on in the playground? The giant, crazy looking guy who looks ready to snap and kill the person nearest or some harmless looking weenie who appears to do anything to avoid conflict? People pick on the weenie because people like to start fights they think they can win. In the same way, people will continue to attack America and our interests when they get the idea that they can piss off America without us immediately eradicating them and everyone around them in the most painful way possible.

Now, if I were president, here's what I would do. Next time some country does something we don't take a pining too, such as supporting terrorism or speaking French, I'd pick the dumbest reason for an attack, e.g.,A 'q' should always be followed by a 'u'.

I don't make the rules, Iraq, but I will enforce them." The more irrational you look, the more scared the country will be that you will really hit them hard. I'd then give the country the old one-week notice until bombing starts.

Then, after just twenty-four hours, I'd start bombing. When the stupid dictator calls to complain, I'd say, "I meant one week max. Oh, and by the way, ground
troops - one week." I'm sure that would be enough to capitulate the average evildoer, but some extra measures could help intimidate others as well.

Like instead of just saturation bombing a city, super-saturation bomb it. After annihilating everything until nothing but ash is left, I'd nuke the ashes. It's
that extra bit of extremely disproportionate use of force that makes other
countries start to wonder if America "has it all together" and really worrying
who we'll lash out against next.

Of course Europe will start complaining, and Europe's bad mouthing of America gives comfort to our enemies. I mean, those guys values are so messed up they think calling someone a "cowboy" is an insult.

Best idea would be to assassinate the leader of the first European country we hear a peep out of. This will probably make us look evil, though, when we want the image of crazy and violent. So, when the Europeans ask why, I'd claim to never have heard of the person: "I didn't even know France had a leader. Sure it wasn't suicide? Yeah, committing suicide with a sniper rifle would be hard, but not impossible if you had a five-hundred yard length of string to work the trigger."

Assassination does seem a little extreme, but we're talking about
Europe. I mean, what are they going to do other than quickly capitulate under a mild threat of force. We'll probably start seeing, "We all love America!" parades in bids to not be our next targets.

Now the world will be pretty convinced that America is frick'n nuts and just looking for a fight, but we need to really ingrain it into everyone's conscious so that no one will ever even contemplate crossing us.

This requires making good use of our nukes. I know, nukes can kill millions of people, but they sure aren't doing anyone any good just sitting around.
I mean, how many years has it been since we last dropped a bomb on
someone? No one even thinks we'll actually use one now. Of course, using
nukes shouldn't be done haphazardly; all uses have to be well planned out
because the explosions are so cool looking that we'll want to give the press
plenty of notice so they can get pictures of the mushroom cloud from all sorts
of different angles. But what to nuke? Well, usually the idea is
populated cities, but, by the beliefs of my morally superior religion, killing
is wrong. So why can't we be more creative than nuking people.

My idea is to nuke the moon; just say we thought we saw moon people or something. There is no one actually there to kill (unless we time it poorly) and everyone in the world could see the results. And all the other countries would exclaim, "Holy @$#%! They are nuking the moon! America has gone insane! I better go eat at McDonald's before they
think I don't like them."

But why stop there.

We've got like tons of national parks; we surely wouldn't miss just one
if we nuked it. Our excuse will be that we heard a drug dealer was hiding there.
Then the foreign nations would be like, "Sacre bleu! These Americans are nuking themselves! Surely they will think nothing of bombing us! Let's adapt their vapid culture as our own so they might consider us one of them."

Now all other countries will be completely freaked out and never even dream of messing with us. They'll say the name of America with hushed whispers and always praise us in public for fear of reprisal. We'd be like an Old Testament god to them;perhaps they would even start worshiping us - actually, we should make that a condition of favored trade status.

Not only will we have ensured peace for ourselves, but we can also now easily end any conflict between other countries.

We see two nations warring over some territory, all we'll have to do is
say, "Hey, break it up," and they'll be racing to concede to each other rather
than get on the bad side of the "crazy, homicidal Americans." And, if people are being oppressed by an evil government, all we'll have to do is say, "Hey you! Stop being communist!" and the next day they'll have elections, capitalism, and free-press to keep from having their country turned into a parking lot.

It will be that easy to motivate our fellow man, because there is hardly anything
people treasure more than not being annihilated.

Now all that's needed to keep peace is to come up with new and creative ways of looking insane and belligerent without actually harming anyone. Missile defense is probably a good step in that direction. Next time some country steps out of line, we
launch a nuclear missile at them. Just seconds before it hits, we blow it up with our missile defense so that everyone there sees the huge explosion in the sky.

Then the president would just call up their leader and say, "Hey, we
lost sight of our SDI test. Did you see if it worked?"

By now, you're probably saying, "Great idea. But how to do we pay for all these random acts of violence?" Just create an "Other Country Tax", a tax for being a country other than the U.S. After implementing my plan, all the countries will be eager to pay the money, and probably add a nice tip to win favor.

So there you have it, a real peace plan that could actually work. Warmongering pacifists want us to act all nice such that countries think we're rational and won't kill everyone with a blind fury, thus making it possible they might actually attack us and draw us into a war. But, if America follows my idea and lashes out at the slightest provocation with unmeasured vengeance, there can be peace.

So there's the choice: either be a homicidal maniac thus ensuring peace and love in the world, or be some pacifist hippy while the streets flow with the blood of the innocent.

The End

Iraqi Citizens taking streets back

2007-11-07T03:57:16Z

TeaDea

+2 raves

Friday, 23 November 2007

BAGHDAD & Iraqi citizens are taking back their streets from extremists by taking security into their own hands.

The Iraqi Security Volunteer program, an Iraqi project funded by the
government of Iraq, allows volunteers from local communities to protect
their own neighborhoods.

The ISVs receive a three-day training program at Coalition Outpost War Eagle where they learn some basic vehicle checks and how to conduct themselves on the streets, as well as weapons training with an AK-47.

When you have local citizenspatrolling their own streets, they have a sincere interest in keepingit safe,said 1st Lt. John Suh, 2nd Battalion, 319th Airborne Field Artillery Regiment.

According to Suh, a native of Harrington Park, N.J., these volunteers are residents of the neighborhoods they have been tasked to provide security to, and that’s precisely the advantage when hiring local residents.

People are staying outlonger at night and the stores are remaining open longer, he said.Thanks to this program, people are feeling a sense of security.

According to Suh, the program overall has proven to be a success in Adhamiyah District.

This is a short-term fix,said Suh.The ultimate goal is to transition these ISVs into Iraqi Policemen. So, a few months down the road, we are trying to place them in the Iraqi Police Academy. In the end, this short-time initiative will create sustainable security solutions by transitioning them into IP.

For Asef Abd Hadi Mosa Al Jabori, an ISV in Shabatkar neighborhood, being in this program gives him the opportunity to serve his community and he enjoys it.

Become a police officer in the future is something I always wanted to do, he said.

According to Al Jabori, though ISVs have been successful providing security, they still need the help of Coalition Forces.

We need them to stay here a little longer until our skills and knowledge match our present need for security, he said.

(By Spc. Elvyn Nieves, Multi-National Division – Baghdad)

Iraqi Citizens Fight Al Qaida

2007-11-07T03:49:40Z

TeaDea

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Citizens' Rise Against al Qaida

Thursday, 22 November 2007

By Capt. Johnny Giroux
Multi-National Division - North Public Affairs Office

WASHINGTON
Determined to rise up against al Qaida terrorists, Concerned Local
Citizens (CLC) groups, working together with Coalition forces, have
started neighborhood watch programs throughout Iraq. The CLC are
calling the movement an Arabic term that means awakening.

The neighborhood watch programs were established Nov. 14, two weeks after
local citizens approached soldiers of the 10th Mountain Division's 1st
Brigade Combat Team, 1st Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, with the
idea. More than (1,000) citizens showed up, ready to be recruited to
take up arms in defense against the terrorists in the region.

The program provides the citizens with weapons and a regular paycheck and
has the goal not only of providing employment, but also improving security throughout the region.

This is the biggest thing going on (for the local Iraqis) ... because one, it's putting money in their pockets and stimulating the local economy, and two, these people really want to provide their own security,said Maj. John Allen, 1-87
Infantry operations officer.

These newly drafted members of the local Multaka Night Watch, as they also are known, will take to the streets as sentinels against terrorist activity while receiving salaries based on the effectiveness of their performance.

For example, for every roadside bomb attack that occurs in their
neighborhood, a certain amount of money will be withheld from that pay
period as a penalty, while consistent periods of tranquility will be rewarded with bonuses.

What this program is doing is creating significant problems for the insurgents, because it drives a wedge between them and the populace, said Army 2nd Lt. Alan Finnie, 1-87 Infantry. By taking away the one incentive advantage the
insurgents had over the government, namely money, the people now have
every reason to reject terrorist intimidation and embrace the
responsibility of eliminating (al Qaida in Iraq) influence in their
communities.

As a result, Coalition and Iraqi forces benefit from the increased freedom of maneuver provided by the citizens groups, allowing them to more effectively seek out and eliminate the terrorist threat, Finnie said, also noting that many recruits appeared quite enthusiastic.

It was good to see regular people showing up in street clothes taking pride in their own area so they can stand on their own feet and provide their own security instead of relying on us to do it for them, said Army Cpl. Evan Siegrist, 1-87 Infantry Personal Security Detachment squad leader.

Such a show of force by Iraqi citizens willing to confront terrorists sends a message to insurgents that their destructive influence among the population
will no longer be tolerated.

Al Qaida in Iraq is threatened by the Sahwa, Allen said as he described immediate intelligence reports of disrupted terrorist movements due to citizens group activity.

The success of this initial recruitment effort marks the beginning of a two week-long initiative to enlist volunteers for the program throughout the 1-87 Infantry Battalion's area of operation.